Yes, I am aware that you two were my first "children". I remember how you were showered with love and a warm lap to sleep on every night. However, as you already know, two more little ones have joined the family. Therefore, we are unable to devote alot of time catering to your every need. I know it's hard for you kitties to understand this, but Braedyn and Chase require much more attention than you, and aren't quite satisfied with us patting their head or rubbing their back. But you should know that we still love you as much as we always have.
I mean, you must admit, you still have it pretty good. You get fresh kibble and water in your bowls twice a day (or whenever Ben remembers, but that's not my fault). You get yummy wet food morning and night. And by morning, I mean when you decide to wake me up at 3:00 am because you're ready for your meal. (And let's not forget that it's me - your loyal caretaker - that drags myself out of bed to feed you at this time.) You still get space on the bed to sleep at night. And you still get an occasional back rub. So let's be honest here... you're still very well taken care of.
So now that I have explained all of this to you, I'm going to ask tell you nicely... STOP PEEING OUTSIDE OF THE FRIGGIN' LITTER BOX!!! Okay, well maybe that didn't come out as nicely as I meant it to, but that's beside the point. I'm not stupid, I know that cats don't just suddenly forget how to use a litter box. I'm well aware that this is your way of "getting us back" for not giving you a ton of attention. But seriously, this has got to stop, because 1) I don't have the patience to deal with it, and 2) Ben is already making you an alternate home in the shed. You have not one, but two litter boxes for your very own personal use. So puh-lease, for the love of all things feline, use the damn litter box!!
Love,
The People That Feed You (and don't you forget that!)
P.S. Don't worry Hobbes, we know Calvin is doing this and not you. But your incessant banging on the blinds at 3:00 am until I wake up to feed you isn't winning you any bonus points.
3 comments:
OMG Patty. That is hilarious and maddening all at the same time. I so feel your pain! I think I might need to hire you to write a letter to my cat. It'll be an easy job - lots of copying and pasting. My living room carpet has become the new litter box and I'm sick over it. Some days it literally makes me sick as I enter the room and the odor hits me like a brick wall. Bob says she's on her final life but that's just it - she is - she's 15 so she probably is, without his help. Poor kitty. Poor carpet. Poor us. :( I hope Calvin & Hobbs heed your warning! :)
Oh goodness...the shed? I hope they heed the letter!!
I'm glad we aren't the only ones who have cats that bang on the blinds in the middle of the night! We have taken them down, and slept with NO window treatments for months because it was better than dealing with them in the middle of the night! Good luck!
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